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When I die, will someone please go to my funeral dressed like the Grim Reaper? You don't say anything, just stand there...
Unknown
162 Likes
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I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Hussein Nishah
52 Likes
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If you think sex is a pain in the ass, try different position.
Unknown
44 Likes
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Join the Army! Travel to exotic, distant lands. Meet exciting, unusual people, and kill them.
Full Metal Jacket
41 Likes
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Your love has me trapped. I cannot move, I cannot breathe. But I dont want to be let go. Please dont ever set me free. You are my jailor I am your slave. I am yours forever. Until I go to the grave.
Unknown
31 Likes
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The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
Will Rogers
35 Likes
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If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
Unknown
23 Likes
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Earl Wilson
21 Likes
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The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
Unknown
18 Likes
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I prefer the darkness. It makes it harder for me to look around and see just how alone I really am.
Unknown
19 Likes
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Watching, waiting, stalking. Searching, skulking, smiling. Love is not all romance. Love is mystery, love is misery. Love is a big piece of dark chocolate. Bittersweet and forbidden.
Unknown
26 Likes
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes ? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Rita Rudner
21 Likes
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It's getting colder now and the darkness consumes me. Depression is slowly creeping up. Maybe one day you'll actually care about me.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Unknown
13 Likes
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I miss your arms that held me and made me feel safe...and your hand that I used to hold that stopped me from falling into deep darkness.
Unknown
16 Likes
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Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while. -William Goldman
The Princess Bride
15 Likes
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The quickest way to a man's heart is not through the stomach but through his chest, with an axe.
Unknown
10 Likes
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From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity.
Edvard Munch
11 Likes
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My parents put us to sleep by tossing us up in the air. Of course, you have to have low ceilings for this method to work.
Unknown
9 Likes
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We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Unknown
11 Likes
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