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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it's too long.
Unknown
3462 Likes
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Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Unknown
2640 Likes
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Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall.
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2882 Likes
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Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
Unknown
2382 Likes
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Why is there a show called When animals attack? It should be called When stupid people go near dangerous animals.
Unknown
2524 Likes
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Are you free tomorrow? No, I'm fu..ing expensive.
Unknown
2521 Likes
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My mother never understood the irony in calling me a "son-of-a-bi...."
Unknown
2696 Likes
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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Before sex.. you help each other get naked, after sex you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
Unknown
2197 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
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No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
Unknown
2505 Likes
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God loves me even when I don't forward those chain letters.
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2194 Likes
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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
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I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to "it's complicated".
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4457 Likes
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Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.
Unknown
1882 Likes
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A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"
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2463 Likes
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Wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook?
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2433 Likes
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If the world doesnt end on December 21st, 2012, I have a feeling there will be a lot of babies born on September 20th, 2013.
Unknown
2396 Likes
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Facebook should have a limit on how many times a relationship status can be change ... after 3 times it should be change default to UNSTABLE!
Ronak Gurung
5225 Likes
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The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
Unknown
1974 Likes
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