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In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.
Will Ferrell
1154 Likes
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Sex is like high school...you miss a period and you're in trouble.
Unknown
1082 Likes
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Not trying to be rude, but your di.. gets less action then a white crayon.
Unknown
1218 Likes
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Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
Unknown
1947 Likes
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FACEBOOK, SlutBook, meet just to fu..Book, tryin to be sneaky but then get caught UpBook, ShameBook, LameBook, using a fake NameBook, corny in the streets but on here you got GameBook, JokeBook, PokeBook, everybody's QuoteBook, in pictures you got money but in person you BrokeBook, SexBook, FlexBook, flirting with your ExBook, someone leaves a comment then you get a urgent TextBook, FightBook, TrifeBook, everybodys RightBook, someone needs to come out with a get a fu..ing LifeBook!
Unknown
1082 Likes
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Dear Face Wash Commercials, nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my whole damn bathroom floor is wet.
Unknown
1007 Likes
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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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Facebook is like a relationship: Faithful on your wall, but cheating in their inbox...
Unknown
1239 Likes
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Good girls are found in every corner of earth. But unfortunately earth is round.
Anurag Prakash Ray
1495 Likes
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Okay mom...you know I love you...but I can't accept your friend request on Facebook.
Unknown
1034 Likes
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You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't find Something? MOM!
Unknown
1056 Likes
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Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, check Facebook ....
Unknown
925 Likes
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Not to name names, but I know some of you update your status from your phone so it appears like you actually left the house. -Sent from my iPhone
Unknown
3034 Likes
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My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So I turned on the subtitles.
Unknown
929 Likes
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Dear Internet Users, Someday u will regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms & Conditions.
Unknown
1055 Likes
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I named my hard drive 'That Ass' so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back 'That Ass' up.
Unknown
939 Likes
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My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch."
Unknown
1197 Likes
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Face down, a.. up, that's the way we............ tie our shoes!
Unknown
1039 Likes
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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Unknown
967 Likes
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Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape on backwards.'
Unknown
921 Likes
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