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Seth Meyers Quotes & Sayings
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91 entries tagged including 1 subtopics.
Last updated May 2024
Seth Meyers Topics
QUOTES
A man in Florida is suing after he was ticketed on a beach for wearing a Speedo. Though, in fairness, he was wearing it as an ascot.
Seth Meyers
6 Likes
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A man in Australia has been fined after buckling a case of beer with a seatbelt, but leaving a 5 year-old child to sit on the car's floor. Earning him the title of 'World's Australian-est Man.
Seth Meyers
1 Likes
Britney Spears was involved in another car collision on Tuesday when she hit the back of an SUV in Beverly Hills. Damage was minimal though, as Spears was on foot.
Seth Meyers
5 Likes
John Hammons, a 19 year-old freshman at the University of Oklahoma, became the mayor of Muskogee this week, when he was the last person in town to shout 'not it!
Seth Meyers
6 Likes
Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, Morgan Freeman and Barbara Streisand will be recognized at the Kennedy Center Honors this December...as the worst version of The Who ever assembled.
Seth Meyers
6 Likes
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A middle school teacher in Montana suffered some bruising and a large scratch on his back after he struck a bear while riding his bicycle to school and not, repeat not from a night of meth-fueled rough s.. with a stranger.
Seth Meyers
12 Likes
Drew Gray, a 5-year-old in Illinois scored a hole-in-one at a par 3 golf course this week, though he still finished the day 229 over par.
Seth Meyers
4 Likes
Injured New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, will be replaced by Matt Cassel an untested inexperienced back-up. Earning Cassel the nickname, 'Sarah Palin'.
Seth Meyers
5 Likes
A freshman at Michigan State University was randomly assigned to the same dorm room his father occupied in 1978. A fact that will no doubt cross his mind every time he mast..bes.
Seth Meyers
4 Likes
Russell Crowe recently pleaded with Australian authorities to grant entry into the country for his friend Snoop Dogg, who is banned because of his drug arrests. Begging the question, 'Is there a worse guy to vouch for you than Russell Crowe?
Seth Meyers
6 Likes
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OJ Simpson's trial for kidnapping, armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon started Monday. Man, you know you've lived a crazy life when a trial for kidnapping, armed robbery and assault isn't your most interesting trial.
Seth Meyers
21 Likes
A tailor in Serbia in planning to make a pair of pants that are large enough to fit 100 men. The story is detailed in the new movie'Brotherhood of the Jostling Weiners'.
Seth Meyers
5 Likes
A man in Michigan stole nearly 250 empty beer cans from a 7-11 store and then told police that his crack cocaine habit drove him to do it. So they had you on stealing empty cans and you gave them a major charge? That's like saying 'Sorry about the littering, officer, I'm just so distracted ever since I killed my wife.
Seth Meyers
9 Likes
Star Trek's George Takei and his longtime partner, Brad Altman, were married this past Sunday. Set your phasers on STUNNING! The couple vowed to boldly go where no man has gone before except the both of them with each other, many, many times
Seth Meyers
2 Likes
Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Lawrence Ellison top the Forbes list of the top 10 richest people in the U.S. having a combined wealth, as of Friday, of nearly eight thousand dollars.
Seth Meyers
8 Likes
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Pope Benedict delivered an anti-euthanasia message this week, saying that people must accept death at 'the hour chosen by God.' And then he rode away in a heavily armored, bulletproof car.
Seth Meyers
2 Likes
A New Jersey man is suing two men for allegedly using Facebook to organize an attack on him at a bar. By the time police arrived, the man had been Super Poked beyond recognition.
Seth Meyers
0 Likes
Police in Portland, Oregon told a woman who was skating nude to stop after construction workers complained. Which raises the question: what in God's name has happened to construction workers?
Seth Meyers
4 Likes
Sunday's 60th Primetime Emmy Awards were hosted by the five reality show nominees in an apparent attempt to make us hate television.
Seth Meyers
0 Likes
Animal rights group PETA is urging Ben and Jerry's to replace the milk they use in their ice cream with human breast milk. After which, Ben and Jerry's introduced their new flavor, Chocolate Chip Minkcuz they're not gonna use breast milk.
Seth Meyers
7 Likes
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