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Funny Facebook Ex Girlfriend Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Ex Girlfriend" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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Everybody knows somebody who's Facebook relationship status should be 'Still banging my ex.'
Unknown
597 Likes
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When I'm stalking my exes on Facebook, sometimes I think, 'I should have never let her go.'...but most times I think, 'She really let herself go.'
Rudy Espinoza
73 Likes
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My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look s..y...so I came back drunk.
Unknown
385 Likes
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
Unknown
3730 Likes
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If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station.
Seth Rogen
570 Likes
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When my girlfriend is angry, I go to Facebook and constantly refresh my relationship status to see if I'm single again.
Unknown
174 Likes
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I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.
Unknown
933 Likes
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
Unknown
1833 Likes
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Girlfriend: Baby, I'm Pregnant. What Do You Want It To Be? . . . . . . Boyfriend: A Joke.
Shadawcatt
373 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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Ever looked back at your ex and asked yourself was I drunk the entire relationship?
Unknown
349 Likes
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Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
Unknown
948 Likes
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My girlfriend asked me to make her feel special...so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
Unknown
204 Likes
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If your girlfriend claims that she never looks at your Facebook profile; Try changing your status to 'Single' and wait 3-5 minutes...
Unknown
476 Likes
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You traded in your iPhone 4 for an extra half inch? Hope your girlfriend doesn't do the same.
Hussein Nishah
443 Likes
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Dear Monday, even my girlfriend's period is a better surprise than you.
Unknown
89 Likes
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Today is national animal day. Please take a moment to remember your ex.
Unknown
502 Likes
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Apparently, the answer 'I know.' is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
Unknown
485 Likes
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