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One Man Show Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "One Man Show Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Show me where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist Plot.
Edgar Bergen
11 Likes
Funny quotes
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When I walk around, sometimes people recognize me from things they've seen me in, TV or whatever. And they'd say, you know, stuff, and a lot of times, I wouldn't hear what they'd said because I had headphones on. So, I kinda just go, 'Cool, man. Glad you like the show.' And I'd just keep walking. And this one guy said something to me one time, and I went, 'Cool, man. Glad you like the show.' And then right when I walked past him, I realized, 'Oh, man, that guy didn't say anything about the show.' He went, 'Hey, man, your fly's down.' And I went, 'Cool, man. Glad you like the show. Glad you like seeing my d..k pop out of my pants. Come back next week, you can see one of my balls.'
Aziz Ansari
21 Likes
It is by vivacity and wit that man shines in company; but trite jokes and loud laughter reduce him to a buffoon.
Lord Chesterfield
18 Likes
Jokes quotes
Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
Rue McClanahan
1 Likes
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
35 Likes
Jokes quotes
Social Change quotes
The Daily Show quotes
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I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
59 Likes
Jokes quotes
Social Change quotes
The Daily Show quotes
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
19 Likes
Jokes quotes
Social Change quotes
The Daily Show quotes
Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
James Patrick Murray
2 Likes
Bosses quotes
Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I'll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.
Charles Bukowski
3 Likes
Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
Jim Murray
7 Likes
Dogs quotes
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Show me a man who claims he is objective and I'll show you a man with illusions.
Henry R Luce
2 Likes
Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.
Joe E Lewis
2 Likes
He was a degenerate gambler. That is, a man who gambled simply to gamble and must lose. As a hero who goes to war must die. Show me a gambler and I'll show you a loser, show me a hero and I'll show you a corpse.
Mario Puzo
5 Likes
It's not like we have a formula, but I think one of the reasons this show has survived is that it has a big heart at its center. Other cartoon shows have people crap on each other and make racist jokes. But I don't think people tune in for that. I just don't think a show lasts for 10 years without a heart.
Trey Parker
5 Likes
I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.
Samantha Bee
12 Likes
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
Jokes quotes
Aggressive quotes
It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
Show me the business man or institution not guided by sentiment and service; by the idea that "he profits most who serves best" and I will show you a man or an outfit that is dead or dying.
Charles H Spurgeon
3 Likes
Business quotes
Show me the business man or institution not guided by sentiment and service; by the idea that he profits most who serves best and I will show you a man or an outfit that is dead or dying.
Charles H Spurgeon
7 Likes
Business quotes
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I guess it's hard to tune in and know what's going on...because there's about 10 storylines going at one time. So if people haven't seen the show and they just jump in and try to watch it's easy to get confused. But at the same time I think it's easy for anyone to tune in and enjoy it. I mean, it's just a really dirty show. There are a lot of dir.. jokes.
Michael Cera
37 Likes
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