Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

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Total: 82 Quotes

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

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I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't met me yet

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

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One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

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Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But I never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.

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In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

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My marriage is on the rocks again; yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

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I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

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New Updates! (5/22/2013) We've been working really hard on completing our new design and adding more member features. Once this is complete in the coming weeks there will be a lot more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield and other authors. We've also changed the sorting on the site so you now see the latest Rodney Dangerfield quotes first. Our goal is to have the best Rodney Dangerfield quotes on the web!

Featured Quote: "A strong friendship doesn't need daily conversation, doesn't always need togetherness, as long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part..."

added by: Tina_24

Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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