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Short Adult Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Short Adult Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.
Dolly Parton
35 Likes
Jokes quotes
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Teenage is very difficult age. It is a time when people expect you to act like an adult, but at the same time when you open your mouth to participate in adult discussions, they ask you to shut up. Well, when you're 18 my friend, you can go on talking even if they ask you not to. Happy 18th Birthday!
Unknown
103 Likes
18th Birthday quotes
For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies
Laurence Sterne
8 Likes
Enemies quotes
Jokes quotes
The reason I make music is so that I dont have to play by societys rules. In terms of being a RESPONSIBLE adult: I have my shit together more thoroughly and efficiently than the majority of people older than me. I dont need to get into it, but trust me, Ive been a responsible adult since I was 17, and Ive got all my ducks in a row.
Gabe Saporta
6 Likes
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. I never did like to work, and I don't deny it. I'd rather read, tell stories, crack jokes, talk, laugh - anything but work.
Abraham Lincoln
271 Likes
Jokes quotes
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I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
100 Likes
Jokes quotes
I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
304 Likes
Jokes quotes
I think that my whole life, I would have to live with knowing what I did or didn't do. I'm trying to do the right thing. I think that this is what's going to make me happy in the end. I'm the one who has to live with it for the rest of my life. I put myself in this position, an adult position, so I have to be an adult and take responsibility for what I did. I've really become at peace with the whole situation. As for keeping the baby, it's a personal decision that everyone has to make for themselves, and this one is just right for me.
Jamie Lynn Spears
5 Likes
Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
Rue McClanahan
1 Likes
I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humor rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story with lots of jokes in it, I wouldn't know how to do jokes without the story.
Steven Moffat
6 Likes
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Slut jokes are just whor..able.
Unknown
524 Likes
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It is true that short forms of poetry have been cultivated in the Far East more than in modern Europe; but in all European literature short forms of poetry are to be found - indeed quite as short as anything in Japanese.
Lafcadio Hearn
0 Likes
My simplest advice to everyone out there; If hurts, let go. Life is way too short to waste any time at all. Youre only young for so long, and every moment you spend dwelling on the things that only cause you to hurt, is precious time wasted where you could have been out adventuring around, making more memories to look back on. Nobody wants to remember the nights they sat around crying. They look back at the adventures they had while they were young. The good nights, days, whatever. And when you find someone where it feels like the first time every time, dont let that go. Dont give up without a fight. To hell with anybody who makes you feel like youre ordinary. Dont waste your time. And Im not kidding, when you find this person, hold tight and do not ever let them go. It rarely happens. And youll know it, because its when you feel most alive. Its a pretty shitty world, no jokes. But you can be happy if you want to be.
Unknown
308 Likes
Letting Go quotes
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I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't.
Dylan Thomas
77 Likes
Jokes quotes
Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you!
Unknown
422 Likes
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I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
30 Likes
Jokes quotes
I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
59 Likes
Jokes quotes
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
Jokes quotes
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
35 Likes
Jokes quotes
Social Change quotes
The Daily Show quotes
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
59 Likes
Jokes quotes
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