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Total quotes: 189
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QUOTES
I hope you live to be as old as your jokes.
Unknown
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Funny quotes
I lived in Miami for a while, in a section with a lot of really old people. The average age in my apartment house was dead.
Gabe Kaplan
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Funny quotes
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Carl Sagan
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Universe quotes
Aging isn't that bad if you consider the alternatives.
Maurice Chevalier
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Growing Old quotes
Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all other philosophers are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.
Henry Louis Mencken
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Philosophy quotes
Stupidity quotes
If you believe everything you read, better not read.
Japanese Proverb
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Reading quotes
Funny quotes
Belief quotes
The less we know, the longer the explanation.
BG
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Funny quotes
Opinions are like feet. Everybody's got a couple, and they usually stink.
Jim Slattery
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Funny quotes
Opinions quotes
Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas and how he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
Groucho Marx
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Funny quotes
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
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Funny quotes
Remember that guy who gave up? Neither does anyone else.
Unknown
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Keep Trying quotes
Today's mighty oak is yesterday's nut that held its ground.
Rosa Parks
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Keep Trying quotes
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
Unknown
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Politics quotes
Funny quotes
You cant direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails.
Unknown
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Attitude quotes
On this earth everyone has his cross. But we must act in such a way that we be not the bad, but the good thief.
Saint Padre Pio
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Taking Responsibility quotes
Computers are incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid. Human beings are incredibly slow, inaccurate, and brilliant. Together they are powerful beyond imagination.
Albert Einstein
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Computers quotes
Humanity quotes
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Albert Einstein
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Amazing Life quotes
Anyone who doesnt take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.
Albert Einstein
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Truth quotes
The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.
Maureen Murphy
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Women quotes
Politics quotes
Politics is the art of postponing decisions until they are no longer relevant.
Henri Queuille
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Politics quotes
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