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To the lamp of love, may it burn brightest in the darkest hours and never flicker in the winds of trial.
Unknown
15 Likes

Wedding Toast quotes



15 Comments
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Let's have a toast for the douchebags, Let's have a toast for the assholes, Let's have a toast for the scumbags, Every one of them that I know.

Kanye West

69 Likes
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I tried the low-carb bread. Have you tried it? It's horrible. I tasted it. I thought the wrapper was still on. It's not like it went bad, it never went good. They have 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter,' they should call it, 'This Ain't Bread.' 'Cause it looks like bread, but it has no other properties of bread. I said, 'You know what? I'll butter it. That'll make it better.' Butter won't go on it. It slides right off. The butter's like, 'Where are you putting me?' Jam and jelly beads up and fall off it. Did they Scotch-guard this at the factory? You know what I'll do? It's okay, I'll toast it. I'll make a sandwich, I'll toast it. It's better when you toast it. It doesn't toast. You can't toast it. I'm out in the garage with a blow torch. It's absorbing the heat like a space shuttle tile.

John Pinette

16 Likes
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