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Jay London Quotes & Sayings
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35 entries tagged including 2 subtopics.
Last updated Jun 2023
Jay London Topics
Funny
QUOTES
You know what burns me? Matches.
Jay London
0 Likes
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They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.
Jay London
1 Likes
People read me but they don't subscribe.
Jay London
0 Likes
My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.
Jay London
2 Likes
My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.
Jay London
5 Likes
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My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
Jay London
13 Likes
My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.
Jay London
1 Likes
I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.
Jay London
1 Likes
I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.
Jay London
2 Likes
I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.
Jay London
0 Likes
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I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?
Jay London
2 Likes
I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.
Jay London
1 Likes
I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.
Jay London
6 Likes
I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.
Jay London
0 Likes
I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.
Jay London
0 Likes
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I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.
Jay London
4 Likes
I was born nine months premature.
Jay London
1 Likes
I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.
Jay London
0 Likes
I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.
Jay London
1 Likes
I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.
Jay London
0 Likes
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TRENDING
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Jun 10
Being Blessed
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