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Funny Cute Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Cute Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
Unknown
287 Likes
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
Unknown
3567 Likes
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Are you free tomorrow? No, Im fu..ing expensive.
Unknown
2521 Likes
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Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.
Shel Silverstein
857 Likes
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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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Allowing gay marriages isn't nearly the gayest thing about California.
Unknown
40 Likes
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Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
Unknown
4765 Likes
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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
Unknown
1748 Likes
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I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Unknown
85 Likes
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Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...
Oketa Ojok
8034 Likes
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'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...
Unknown
1246 Likes
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The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.
Unknown
41 Likes
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Sorry you're upset that three brutal murders by one of your players may impact your team's playoff chances.
Unknown
25 Likes
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Behind every great woman, there is a guy looking at her ass.
Unknown
573 Likes
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Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence.
Unknown
57 Likes
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I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.'
Unknown
572 Likes
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