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Funny Flirty Love Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Flirty Love Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
Unknown
1748 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...
Oketa Ojok
8034 Likes
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'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...
Unknown
1246 Likes
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I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Unknown
85 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
Unknown
4765 Likes
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These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like the giraffe did.
Unknown
593 Likes
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Behind every great woman, there is a guy looking at her ass.
Unknown
573 Likes
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I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one.
Unknown
664 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence.
Unknown
57 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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Say this out loud five times fast! 'I won a math debate.'
Unknown
616 Likes
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Sorry you're upset that three brutal murders by one of your players may impact your team's playoff chances.
Unknown
25 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.
Unknown
41 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Facebook Status quotes
I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.'
Unknown
572 Likes
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Not to name names, but I know some of you update your status from your phone so it appears like you actually left the house. -Sent from my iPhone
Unknown
3034 Likes
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Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
Unknown
502 Likes
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I don't want to hear you complain about the heat unless you are planning to take off all your clothes.
Unknown
80 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
Unknown
1083 Likes
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That awkward moment when Pinocchio and Voldemort meet.
Unknown
243 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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The Energizer Bunny got arrested. He was charged with battery.
Unknown
275 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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May you live to be as old as the number of Instagram pictures you took of your birthday cake.
Unknown
192 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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