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Funny Status About Justin Bieber Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Status About Justin Bieber" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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That awkward moment when people start stuff on your Facebook status and you just don't want to get involved.
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154 Likes
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I'm glad there will be an iPhone that's affordable to the sweatshop workers who make iPhones.
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39 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I hate how spiders just sit there on the walls and act like they pay rent...
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459 Likes
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I last longer than Obamacare call center wait times.
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310 Likes
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I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
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434 Likes
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I wonder if there will be a day where they were fu..ing sick of making calendars?
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104 Likes
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I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect'. So my computer just tells me when I forget.
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2887 Likes
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I'm pretty sure the whole ladies first thing was created by a guy just to check out ass.
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2760 Likes
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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
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1223 Likes
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Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom.
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481 Likes
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Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though.
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308 Likes
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I'm pretty sure I have a defective iphone 5, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.
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264 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Women who complain are like yellow traffic lights. Nobody really pays attention to them.
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276 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
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524 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
When guys ask you to send a picture of yourself...we're not asking for the one you took with your grandma last night.
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294 Likes
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The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop...
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576 Likes
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Hope you're feeling okay after being s..ually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.
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67 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
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2505 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Started writing poetry the other day. POETR, it's coming along nicely.
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210 Likes
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This Saturday has been sponsored by Tylenol and Jack Daniels.
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125 Likes
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