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I remember there was this thing I used to do at night. I think it was called "sleep."
Unknown
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Cashier: Are you buying these? Me: No, I'm going to steal them, I just wanted to show you first.
Unknown
189 Likes
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Excuse me, miss, you've got a little bit of face on your makeup there.
Unknown
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All restaurants are drive-thru if you drive hard enough.
Unknown
65 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
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My sex life is like a Ferrari...I don't have a Ferrari.
Unknown
277 Likes
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I hate being in jail...I mean, school...
Unknown
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Life is too short to waste time on matching socks.
Unknown
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Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him.The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.
Unknown
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Sorry I offended you when I called you a bi.... I had no idea you thought it was a secret.
Unknown
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I hate it when skinny people say they ain't skinny enough.
Unknown
92 Likes
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Sh.. I hate when skinny people complain how fat they are.
Unknown
88 Likes
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I lost my coat, hopefully someone didn't jacket.
Unknown
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Oh, I'm sorry! I thought slut was your costume...
Unknown
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I'm so talented. I can listen to music and ignore you at the same time.
Unknown
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Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back...So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
Unknown
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Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
Unknown
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Please GOD if you cant make me slim, make my friends fat.
Unknown
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You don't like when I get jealous, so you must wanting me to stopping caring about us?
Kristy Truong
83 Likes
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I'm not saying my ex-girlfriend is a slut I am just saying if everyone's cock had wings she'd be a airport.
Unknown
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