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Bill Maher Quotes & Sayings
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86 entries tagged including 46 subtopics.
Last updated May 2024
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QUOTES
I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're not married and having children, it's like your life is empty or you're a communist meanie.
Bill Maher
8 Likes
Conformity quotes
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And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has a pack in his back, my answer is, if someone was feeding him answers, couldn't they be able to feed him better ones than he came up with?
Bill Maher
0 Likes
Comedy quotes
Humor quotes
Politics quotes
I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and I was saying, 'Bring back the lip synch.' ...And it struck me that Ashlee Simpson is a lot like George Bush-because she wouldn't even really be in the big leagues if it wasn't for family connections, and she's in way over her head. And she doesn't know what to do. And she blamed her band.
Bill Maher
4 Likes
Comedy quotes
NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has shown that half of American high schools agree that newspapers should only be able to publish government-approved material. Almost one out of five said people should not be allowed to voice unpopular opinions..This is the first generation after September 11th, who discovered news during a 'watch what you say' administration...George W. Bush once asked, 'is our children learning.' No, they isn't. A better question would be, 'is our teacher's teaching?'
Bill Maher
2 Likes
Comedy quotes
Politics quotes
The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
Bill Maher
6 Likes
Authority quotes
Youth quotes
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Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the will of the people goes out the window.
Bill Maher
9 Likes
When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.
Bill Maher
0 Likes
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
Bill Maher
5 Likes
We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
Bill Maher
8 Likes
We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
Bill Maher
7 Likes
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We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.
Bill Maher
2 Likes
This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
Bill Maher
5 Likes
This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.
Bill Maher
2 Likes
Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
Bill Maher
2 Likes
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
Bill Maher
4 Likes
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The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
Bill Maher
27 Likes
The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
Bill Maher
5 Likes
The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.
Bill Maher
2 Likes
The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'
Bill Maher
0 Likes
The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.
Bill Maher
2 Likes
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