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Eddie Izzard Quotes & Sayings
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23 entries tagged including 13 subtopics.
Last updated May 2024
Eddie Izzard Topics
Funny
Life
Putdowns
Government
Television
Famous
Death
God
Comedy
Philosophy
Humor
War
QUOTES
I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
Eddie Izzard
39 Likes
Funny quotes
Life quotes
Sponsored Links
We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective thing, but its really true, you know its there¦ But its kind of slow on telly, it has this problem of, Weve been here three weeks on live television, and weve taken off about a millimeter of top soil so far¦ Theres men with brushes and beards¦ maybe theyve just got beards, Im not sure¦ We found this and carbon-dated it to last Tuesday, so were very excited¦
Eddie Izzard
56 Likes
Television quotes
Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the s..: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!"
Eddie Izzard
11 Likes
Humor quotes
Never put a sock in a toaster.
Eddie Izzard
4 Likes
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
Eddie Izzard
3 Likes
Sponsored Links
Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the s..: Girls girls, ooo. Naturally you want to look your best, and God says No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!
Eddie Izzard
10 Likes
Life quotes
So my choice is 'Or Death?
Eddie Izzard
3 Likes
Death quotes
If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.
Eddie Izzard
2 Likes
So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard
2 Likes
They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
Eddie Izzard
2 Likes
Sponsored Links
[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea, youre gonna roll over and cut your bits off.
Eddie Izzard
4 Likes
Comedy quotes
It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance. And thats why most of the Renaissance happened slap bang in the middle of FrItaly.
Eddie Izzard
2 Likes
Comedy quotes
You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym!
Eddie Izzard
1 Likes
War quotes
I'm a one-man idiot.
Eddie Izzard
16 Likes
Funny quotes
Putdowns quotes
MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
Eddie Izzard
3 Likes
Sponsored Links
Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything When is a house a house? Just chill-out will you? If Im out of the house am I chilling-out? Am I chilling-in if Im in the house? Ugg, ahhh. [Sword stabbing & dying mime]. What is a sword? Is it made of folded metal?' [Wobbly knees]. 'If I die on the floor can I get up in these heels?
Eddie Izzard
12 Likes
Philosophy quotes
Comedy quotes
You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym!
Eddie Izzard
2 Likes
So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naïve, I feel!
Eddie Izzard
33 Likes
Government quotes
Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything When is a house a house? Just chill-out will you? If Im out of the house am I chilling-out? Am I chilling-in if Im in the house? Ugg, ahhh. [Sword stabbing & dying mime]. What is a sword? Is it made of folded metal?' [Wobbly knees]. 'If I die on the floor can I get up in these heels?
Eddie Izzard
10 Likes
Comedy quotes
Philosophy quotes
Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
Eddie Izzard
3 Likes
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