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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes & Sayings
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81 entries tagged including 37 subtopics.
Last updated Apr 2024
Rodney Dangerfield Topics
Funny
Fathers
Sports
Arguments
Cheating
Soul
Drinking
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Ugliness
Humor
Money
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Halloween
School
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Hilarious
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Ugly
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QUOTES
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
6 Likes
Funny quotes
Sports quotes
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
Rodney Dangerfield
15 Likes
Ugly quotes
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Rodney Dangerfield
24 Likes
Psychiatry quotes
Humor quotes
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
Rodney Dangerfield
2 Likes
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
2 Likes
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
27 Likes
Marriage quotes
Wives quotes
Relationships quotes
My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said .... Alright.... you're ugly too!
Rodney Dangerfield
3 Likes
Love quotes
Sponsored Links
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
29 Likes
Emotion quotes
Actors And Acting quotes
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
6 Likes
Drink quotes
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
5 Likes
Drink quotes
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
3 Likes
Parents quotes
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Rodney Dangerfield
19 Likes
Parents quotes
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