Doctor Quetes Quotes

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Total: 393 Quotes
 Rodney Dangerfield quotes 
 Funny quotes   Parents quotes 
Suggest Revision: When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through.
 
 Tommy Cooper quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
 
 Robert Paul quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me 5 hours to sew in a Doctor's appointment...
 
 Les Dawson quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. You see the trouble is he's very old fashioned. When he gives you an injection you have to bite on a bullet.
 
 Henry Youngman quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
 
 Benjamin Franklin quotes 
 Funny quotes   God quotes   Doctors quotes 
Suggest Revision: God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
 
 Voltaire quotes 
 Funny quotes   Age quotes 
Suggest Revision: I know of nothing more laughable than a doctor who does not die of old age.
 
 Sean Connery quotes 
 Funny quotes   Age quotes 
Suggest Revision: I've honestly not been too aware of my age until I went to the doctor for a full check-up. He said I had the heart of a young man - 'but you're not young, you're 40.
 
 Marcel Proust quotes 
 Intelligence quotes 
Suggest Revision: Three-quarters of the sicknesses of intelligent people come from their intelligence. They need at least a doctor who can understand this sickness.
 
 Herbert Hoover quotes 
 Politics quotes 
Suggest Revision: When we are sick, we want an uncommon doctor; when we have a construction job to do, we want an uncommon engineer, and when we are at war, we want an uncommon general. It is only when we get into politics that we are satisfied with the common man.
 
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