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Funny Alcohol Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Alcohol Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I wonder what the blood alcohol level is of all these mosquitos that keep biting me?
Unknown
372 Likes
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Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
Unknown
444 Likes
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They say so many people die because of alcohol. Perhaps they never realized how many of them are born because of it.
Unknown
330 Likes
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I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday.
Unknown
393 Likes
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Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill
14 Likes
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If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
Unknown
108 Likes
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It's funny how alcohol can make the clothes come off.
Unknown
18 Likes
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So I won't give up alcohol, boys, being judgmental or sarcasm but I'll definitely give up drunk texting for Lent.
Unknown
220 Likes
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Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk.
Unknown
311 Likes
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Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Frank Sinatra
83 Likes
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Mom says 'Alcohol is your enemy'... Jesus says 'Love your enemy.'
Unknown
163 Likes
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OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?
Unknown
876 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Unknown
1203 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
2231 Likes
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As a kid, when I would hurt myself my mom would rub alcohol on it. Which is why I drink, I'm just putting alcohol on where it hurts the most...The inside.
Jason Santana
137 Likes
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Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
Unknown
508 Likes
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There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
Unknown
1102 Likes
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
222 Likes
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