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Funny Swear Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Swear" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I've risen from the dead. Though sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I've died. I swear I'm aging in dog years. But no, I'm not dead. It's funny how stuff like that gets started.
Tony Stewart
68 Likes
Funny quotes
Morning quotes
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On Mondays, I'm always f*cking thankful I don't have a swear jar.
Unknown
94 Likes
Funny quotes
Monday quotes
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.
Unknown
17 Likes
Funny quotes
Girls quotes
that cellular will be the death of us. I swear, I swear.
Nevershoutnever
10 Likes
Some times, one time, stereotyping, the jury aint guilty, they swear ive got to be runnin drugs, but I am, just a man, trying to stay satan free, to hell is where there taking me, I swear its so amazing to be a THUG, a True hero under gods sight from above.
Z-Ro
29 Likes
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No officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!
Unknown
86 Likes
Funny quotes
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Police quotes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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you call them swear words, I call them sentence enchanters.
Unknown
94 Likes
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To swear off making mistakes is very easy. All you have to do is swear off having ideas.
Leo Burnett
0 Likes
Making Mistakes quotes
People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
Tim Vine
5 Likes
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I can't swear that I'll be here for the rest of your life, but I swear to love you for the rest of mine.
Unknown
73 Likes
I Love You So Much quotes
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Oh, thats funny. I swear last week you said you hated her. Now you're best friends?
Unknown
243 Likes
Being Fake quotes
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The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.
Unknown
128 Likes
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And Imma hit this drink up like its my last. Imma hit this night up like its my last. Swear Imma, swear Imma get it like. Like I never had it at all all all all, all all all all.
Chris Brown
25 Likes
My troubles are many they're as deep as a well. I swear there ain't no heaven and I pray there ain't no hell swear there ain't no heaven and pray there ain't no hell but I'll never know by livin' only my dyin' will tell.
Laura Nyro
0 Likes
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Mac users swear by their computers. PC users swear at their computers.
Unknown
3 Likes
Computers quotes
Its funny though, because after everything we have been through, you still up and leave with out a second thought. Left me, with tears running down my eyes. I swear I could have swim in the pool of my tears that night. You leaving me, I would have never picture. We were so good. One hell of a mixture. But karma's coming back to you. And while thats happening, I hope you think of me. And know how happy I am now.
Unknown
145 Likes
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If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.
Unknown
189 Likes
Humor quotes
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I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else.
Gene Wilder
2 Likes
I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.
Steve Zahn
1 Likes
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