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Santa Would Give You Me Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Santa Would Give You Me" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
Rick Sutter
77 Likes
Christmas quotes
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Dear Santa.... you'se a bi... ni...... nonono... wait wait... Dear Santa... You'se a bi... a.. ni......i heard the mall was hiring extra security to protect you.. that's a bi... move santa...i'm comin for that a.. again... until you pay what you owe! sincurly yours... the santa stalker...
Riley Freeman
60 Likes
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus
Bob Phillips
6 Likes
Fun Christmas quotes
One time I asked Brasky to dress up as Santa for a Christmas party I was having for my children. Anyway, Brasky shows up as Santa, says I've got goodies for you kids. He reaches into his bag and proceeds to hand out scrap metal and cigarettes to them. Then he takes off his beard and says There's no Santa cause I ate him!
Bill Brasky
0 Likes
Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane!
Unknown
4 Likes
Christmas Song quotes
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I believed in Santa Claus until I was much older than the average kid. One year, my mom wrote 'Merry Christmas, Stacy' on a chalkboard and told me it was written by Santa. I was like, 'Oh my God, he knows my name!' I truly believed. Then a kid ruined it for me one day and told me there was no Santa, and I came home crying. The sad part was that the girl who told me was younger than I was.
Stacy Keibler
6 Likes
I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Underneath the mistletoe last night. She didn't see me creep down the stairs to have a peep; She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep. Then, I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus Underneath his beard so snowy white; Oh, what a laugh it would have been. If daddy had only seen. mommy kissing Santa Claus, last night.
Unknown
10 Likes
Christmas Song quotes
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
32 Likes
Funny quotes
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Christmas quotes
ni..., I'm Santa Claus; where the fu.. the milk and cookies?
Santa Claus
49 Likes
Friday After Next quotes
When a telemarketer calls, give the phone to the nearest child and tell them it's Santa on the phone!
Unknown
48 Likes
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Texas, to be respected must be polite. Santa Anna living, can be of incalculable benefit to Texas; Santa Anna dead, would just be another dead Mexican.
Sam Houston
34 Likes
Santa Barbara is my hood. I mean, it's not much of a hood, but it is definitely like my hood. I claim Santa Barbara like I claim my family-I'm going to be married and buried there.
Katy Perry
15 Likes
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!
Erick S Gray
176 Likes
Deep Life quotes
Dear Santa, I'm sending you a Christmas Cheer with hopes that you'll be very dear. I've been very nice all through the year and so with this, please find my list. I want a 6' personal trainer who's waiting and wanting to be unwrapped by me! I don't want to find him under the tree, I want to see him lying next to me. I've been very nice all year long, now I want to be naughty from dusk to dawn! Thank you Santa, you're the best, I'll take it from here, now get some rest! XOXOXO
Sheila Siggins
22 Likes
Christmas Cheer quotes
Whatever you give a woman, she is going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. So if you give her crap, you will receive a ton of shit.
Unknown
316 Likes
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Santa was a fake.
Stephen Lawrence
0 Likes
I believe in Santa. Cause I believe in the Christmas Spirit.
Unknown
3 Likes
It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough.
Quentin Crisp
3 Likes
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
Samuel Butler
0 Likes
I wish Santa was a one percenter.
Unknown
0 Likes
Hilarious Christmas quotes
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