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If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.
If people see me in some sort of niche, then that's fine. As long as it's not The Naked Guy, I don't care.
I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.
I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage.
I want to manufacture a feud.
I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.
I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials.
I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.
I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.
I just want to do cool stuff.
I have to stay true to myself.
I get all of my comedy from CNN.
I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards.
A Real Man
Falling For You
Men And Women
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