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Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.
Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.
I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
I Hate Life
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