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Emo Philips Quotes & Sayings
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57 entries tagged including 18 subtopics.
Last updated Apr 2024
Emo Philips Topics
Funny
Adultery
Positive
Religious
Schools
Time
Murder
Crime
Luck
Women
Money
Men And Women
Forgiveness
Computers
Chess
Jokes
Happy
QUOTES
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
Emo Philips
6 Likes
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Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.
Emo Philips
4 Likes
I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
Emo Philips
2 Likes
Luck quotes
My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.
Emo Philips
54 Likes
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Emo Philips
67 Likes
Money quotes
Sponsored Links
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
Emo Philips
1 Likes
Computers quotes
Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are
Emo Philips
2 Likes
Computers quotes
I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.
Emo Philips
23 Likes
Men And Women quotes
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Emo Philips
85 Likes
Women quotes
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Emo Philips
35 Likes
Forgiveness quotes
Sponsored Links
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo Philips
29 Likes
Funny quotes
Computers quotes
Chess quotes
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
Emo Philips
23 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Emo Philips
409 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
Emo Philips
42 Likes
Funny quotes
Women quotes
My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
Emo Philips
54 Likes
Funny quotes
Sponsored Links
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Emo Philips
45 Likes
Funny quotes
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
Emo Philips
47 Likes
Funny quotes
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