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Funny Christmas Carols Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Christmas Carols" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
42 Likes
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Buying me a Christmas gift on Cyber Monday is a great way to ensure I'll have s.. with you until Christmas.
Unknown
32 Likes
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The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Joan Rivers
18 Likes
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Unknown
17 Likes
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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
44 Likes
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Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
Arlo Guthrie
21 Likes
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Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. I also cry at weddings. I should have cried at a couple of my own.
Ethel Merman
0 Likes
On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee!
Unknown
1205 Likes
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Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also...
Unknown
59 Likes
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I've put a lot of thought into asking Siri what to get you for Christmas.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Here's hoping Santa doesn't get killed using Apple Maps this Christmas.
Unknown
50 Likes
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Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Larry Wilde
51 Likes
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Merry Christmas to someone who'd care more about Baby Jesus if he was in Kate Middleton's uterus.
Unknown
14 Likes
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Pretending to believe in the Mayan apocalypse prophecy is a great way to get out of buying Christmas presents.
Unknown
32 Likes
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This year I plan to start putting off my Christmas shopping extra early.
Unknown
58 Likes
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On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bi...es, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new po.. websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 ho.. a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
Unknown
560 Likes
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Dear Crush, don't be scared if a fat guy in a red suit snatches you away on Christmas Eve. Sincerely, You Were On My Wish List.
Unknown
229 Likes
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I'm dreaming of a Christmas as white but not nearly as depressing as the Republican party.
Unknown
30 Likes
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I put so much thought into your gift it's now too late to get it.
Unknown
81 Likes
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I hope you like the gift I took partial credit for.
Unknown
21 Likes
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