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Funny Common Sense Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Common Sense Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
Ronnie Corbett
75 Likes
Funny quotes
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Just because you say Swag in every other sentence doesn't mean you have it.
Unknown
514 Likes
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Women on their period always ovary act.
Unknown
120 Likes
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What do you call a fat girl dancing in a club? Alone.
Unknown
146 Likes
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He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.
Unknown
19 Likes
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I kind of hate Halloween parties. I usually just go for the boos.
Unknown
71 Likes
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I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
Harry Hill
31 Likes
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Show me where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist Plot.
Edgar Bergen
11 Likes
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Women are good for 70 things, sandwiches and 69.
Risa Schizophrenia
424 Likes
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The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
Ronnie Barker
131 Likes
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Beauty and ugliness are only possible in the light. Common sense also survives in the dark. So do crassness, ignorance, dumbness!...
Mariana Fulger
5 Likes
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The myths underlying our culture and underlying our common sense have not taught us to feel identical with the universe, but only parts of it, only in it, only confronting it - aliens.
Alan Watts
6 Likes
We must return optimism to our parenting. To focus on the joys, not the hassles; the love, not the disappointments; the common sense, not the complexities.
Fred G Gosman
7 Likes
Focus quotes
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To become truly immortal, a work of art must escape all human limits: logic and common sense will only interfere. But once these barriers are broken, it will enter the realms of childhood visions and dreams.
Giorgio De Chirico
0 Likes
Citizens have the natural right and the common sense duty to protect themselves, their families, their communities, and their property...guns are the equalizing tools of self-protection, utopian lamentations notwithstanding.
Edgar A Suter
3 Likes
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Relationship status: Looking for a WIFI connection.
Evans Amecha
39 Likes
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What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business.
Unknown
175 Likes
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What's a pirate minus the ship? Just a creative homeless guy.
Bo Burnham
167 Likes
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I got expelled from school on pajama day....But its not my fault I sleep naked.
Unknown
276 Likes
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Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.
Henry Youngman
43 Likes
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