TOPIC
AUTHOR
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
EVENTS
MEMBERS
LOGIN
SIGN UP
Quotes
Topics
Pictures
Questions
Authors
Blog
About
Terms
Privacy
Sitemap
Get in Touch
Advertise
Removal Request
Subscribe
Contact Us
Social
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest
Close
Submit Quote
Latest Quotes
Browse our latest quotes
Topic List
Categorized list of quote topics
Famous Authors
Alphabetical list of influential authors
Picture Quotes
Custom and user added quotes with pictures
Quotes
Questions
Submit Quote
Letter X Mitch Hedberg Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Letter X Mitch Hedberg" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
Related Topics
Letters
Fathers
Funny
Comedy
Funny
Happy
Girlfriends
Women
Friends With Benefits
Senses
Money
Plants
Life
Soccer
Silly
Food
Dancing
Acting
Actor
Show more
Arguments
Relationships
Friends
Laziness
Talking
Camping
Sister
Gambling
Racing
Fashion
Self-Awareness
Photography
Boats
Work
Inspirational
Television
Sadness
Bureaucracy
Pessimism
Negativity
Opportunity
Discontent
Meaning
Fuck Love
Hate Love
Sorority
Acceptance
Dreams
Love
QUOTES
I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out and slammed the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up really quick?
Mitch Hedberg
38 Likes
Camping quotes
Girlfriends quotes
Sponsored Links
I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out and slammed the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up really quick?
Mitch Hedberg
12 Likes
Camping quotes
Girlfriends quotes
My sister wanted to be an actress. She never made it, but she does live in a trailer... so she got halfway. She's an actress, she's just never called to the set.
Mitch Hedberg
69 Likes
Funny quotes
Sister quotes
I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
Mitch Hedberg
5 Likes
Funny quotes
Gambling quotes
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Mitch Hedberg
4 Likes
Sponsored Links
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.
Mitch Hedberg
8 Likes
Funny quotes
Comedy quotes
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide...
Mitch Hedberg
20 Likes
Funny quotes
Racing quotes
Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1000 of something is too many. I'll have 1000 pieces of noodles.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles was a laid-back company. They said F**k it. Cut 'em up.
Mitch Hedberg
5 Likes
Food quotes
Sponsored Links
"I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles was a laid-back company. They said "F**k it. Cut 'em up."
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
Food quotes
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.'
Mitch Hedberg
5 Likes
Comedy quotes
Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna, though. You bet your ass, I will have a beret on. That's ridiculous, but it's true. I always fight with wearing a beret.
Mitch Hedberg
20 Likes
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.'
Mitch Hedberg
27 Likes
Funny quotes
Comedy quotes
Silly quotes
Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna, though. You bet your ass, I will have a beret on. That's ridiculous, but it's true. I always fight with wearing a beret.
Mitch Hedberg
40 Likes
Funny quotes
Fashion quotes
Self-awareness quotes
Sponsored Links
One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit**, how'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera. What's it look like?'
Mitch Hedberg
8 Likes
Photography quotes
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
Mitch Hedberg
7 Likes
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
If you boat a lot, you're known as a boating enthusiast. I like to boat, but I just don't want to ever be referred to as a 'boating enthusiast'. I hope they call me 'a guy who likes to boat'.
Mitch Hedberg
4 Likes
Boats quotes
I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender.... all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well, that's a fresher....I'm going on break.
Mitch Hedberg
12 Likes
Work quotes
Laziness quotes
Comedy quotes
1
...
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
...
25
TRENDING
TRENDING TOPICS
May 19
Being The Other Woman
Capitalism
Creativity
Dont Trust Nobody
Facebook Status
Heartache
Holding On
I Want You Back
Identity
Learning
Letting Go
Life
Life Advice
Motherhood
Physics
Poetry
Political
Problems
Seasons
Witty
ABOUT
Terms
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Sitemap
Contact Us
OUR GOAL
Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life.
© 2024 SearchQuotes™