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Letter X Mitch Hedberg Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Letter X Mitch Hedberg" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky...
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
Dancing quotes
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My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
Mitch Hedberg
6 Likes
Food quotes
Comedy quotes
I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
Mitch Hedberg
5 Likes
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fu.. is a sesame?! It's a street... It's a way to open shit...
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
Food quotes
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What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fu.. is a sesame?! It's a street... It's a way to open shit...
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
Food quotes
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
Mitch Hedberg
10 Likes
People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
Mitch Hedberg
35 Likes
Life quotes
I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.
Mitch Hedberg
24 Likes
Food quotes
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My sister wanted to be an actress. She never made it, but she does live in a trailer... so she got halfway. She's an actress, she's just never called to the set.
Mitch Hedberg
6 Likes
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I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.
Mitch Hedberg
38 Likes
Funny quotes
Arguments quotes
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Relationships quotes
I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.
Mitch Hedberg
163 Likes
Funny quotes
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I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck.
Mitch Hedberg
6 Likes
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Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck.
Mitch Hedberg
8 Likes
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I mumble a lot off-stage, I'm a mumbler. If I'm walking with a friend and I say something, he won't hear me, he'll say 'What?'. So I'll say it again, but once again he doesn't hear me, so he says 'What?'. But really it's just some insignificant sh*t that I'm saying, but now I'm yelling, 'That tree is far away.'
Mitch Hedberg
14 Likes
Friends quotes
Talking quotes
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
Mitch Hedberg
0 Likes
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
The creative act is like writing a letter. A letter is a project; you don't sit down to write a letter unless you know what you want to say and to whom you want to say it.
Lukas Foss
1 Likes
It occurred to me in my junior year of high school. I got my first letter from a big college. I still have that letter to this day - a letter from Indiana.
Bo Jackson
4 Likes
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