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Will Seth Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Will Seth" sorted by relevance. 263 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If it looks like shit, smells like shit, and feels like shit, you don't have to actually eat it to know it's shit.
Seth Eisenberg
17 Likes
Abuse quotes
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Conservative lawmakers in Egypt have called for a ban on imports of a kit meant to help women fake their virginity on their wedding night. The kit consists of a back brace and a Battlestar Galactica nightie.
Seth Meyers
9 Likes
The first presidential debate took place last night, and earlier in the week Barack Obama said he would be at the debate whether John McCain showed up or not. Marking the first time in history that a black man was more eager to go to Mississippi than a white one.
Seth Meyers
9 Likes
It has been rumored that during his first concert in London this summer, Michael Jackson's son Prince Michael the first, will make a surprise appearance on stage. Where it's expected he will point to his dad and tell the police officer accompanying him, 'That's the guy.'
Seth Meyers
6 Likes
Hillary Andrews, a former Weather Channel anchorwoman, has won a s..ual-harassment claim against Bob Stokes, her male co-anchor, whom she accused of repeatedly asking her about her s.. life and making crude remarks such as 'Will you lick my swizzle stick?'
Seth Meyers
27 Likes
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A middle school teacher in Montana suffered some bruising and a large scratch on his back after he struck a bear while riding his bicycle to school and not, repeat not from a night of meth-fueled rough s.. with a stranger.
Seth Meyers
12 Likes
A man in Detroit was sentenced to two years in prison for stealing a woman's car after skipping out on the check on their first date. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that he did that, or the fact that she's still counting it as a date.
Seth Meyers
7 Likes
Police in Portland, Oregon told a woman who was skating nude to stop after construction workers complained. Which raises the question: what in God's name has happened to construction workers?
Seth Meyers
4 Likes
In anticipation of Pope Benedict's trip to New York next week, t-shirts, mugs, posters and Pope bobblehead dolls are going on sale all over the city. After all, the pope deserves the same respect and admiration that we bestow upon 'Scarface.'
Seth Meyers
3 Likes
A woman in Pennsylvania was arrested for putting a forged 50 dollar check in a church offering plate and for stealing a woman's wallet from a pew. But you know what? A lot of people don't even go to church.
Seth Meyers
10 Likes
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Starting Monday, 7-11 will begin testing a new plastic wrap designed to keep bananas yellow and firm for five days. Though if your banana remains firm for more than 5 days call a doctor immediately.
Seth Meyers
7 Likes
What's happened with society is that we have created these devices, computers, which already can register and process huge amounts of information, which is a significant fraction of the amount of information that human beings themselves, as a species, can process.
Seth Lloyd
0 Likes
New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg on Thursday praised the Reverend Al Sharpton calling him a 'calming influence on the city.' Wow. What are the odds of a city having two reverends named Al Sharpton?.
Seth Meyers
4 Likes
The death Saturday of actor Charlton Heston has elicited tributes from many quarters including Nancy Reagan who called him 'an American hero,' President Bush, who described him as an 'advocate for liberty,' and apes, who called him 'Public Enemy 1.
Seth Meyers
3 Likes
Republican Senator Olympia Snowe warned Tuesday that while she crossed party lines to vote for the new health care bill in Committee, that doesn't mean that she will vote for it when it reaches the Senate floor. Adding, 'come on, guys, chase me.
Seth Meyers
3 Likes
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Suspended NFL star Michael Vick told a bankruptcy court on Friday that his time in prison has given him a chance to think and he realized that he "can't live like the old Mike Vick." Mostly because that guy lives in prison.
Seth Meyers
3 Likes
Karta, an orangutan at a zoo in Australia, escaped from her enclosure on Sunday, after she short-circuited an electric fence and broke free. She then climbed over the fence, where another orangutan was waiting with the car running.
Seth Meyers
7 Likes
If you take a more Darwinian point of view the dynamics of the universe are such that as the universe evolved in time, complex systems arose out of the natural dynamics of the universe.
Seth Lloyd
0 Likes
Evanger's Dog and Cat food company has released a line of kosher food for pets. In this case kosher means that all of the food has been blessed by a rabbit.
Seth Meyers
3 Likes
I love. I love All in the Family. The Honeymooners. The Twilight Zone. Here's my nerdiness coming out, Star Trek: The Next Generation. I would actually, in all seriousness, put that as possibly the finest hour-long series ever written. How they did that on a weekly basis is beyond me, it's so impressive. There you go...I got that out of my system...
Seth Macfarlane
4 Likes
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