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CrampyToes Quotes & Sayings
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IQ Score: 3250
Total quotes: 32
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QUOTES
When people call me a creep, I don''t take it as an insult. I wear that label proudly. I don't want to be like the rest of you.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
Creep quotes
The lobster screamed when she dropped it into the boiling water. There was a cruel sexiness about the way that made her smile ...
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
Lobster quotes
Scream quotes
Cruel quotes
Boiling Water quotes
I like to play hide and seek with my inner child. And when I find him I beat him with a stick.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
Inner Child quotes
Hide And Stick quotes
Beat quotes
Stick quotes
When people ask me, How the hell did you score that chick? I say, If she's dumb enough to love me, I'm dumb enough to let her.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
Love quotes
Beauty quotes
Beast quotes
Using Myspace is like my sex life. It's just me doing it by myself.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
Myspace quotes
Sex Masturbation quotes
She ~ You're batshit crazy. Me ~ You knew this before you let me feed your monkey a banana. That was pretty irresponsible of you.
Rudy
0 Likes
Crazy quotes
Banana quotes
Monkey quotes
Relationships quotes
Remember that super skinny dude from Freddy Got Fingered who got so drunk that he couldn't feel his legs? Well, now he's a cripple on the TV Series Legit. Irony or disassociative alcohol induced logic? Follow me on this one .... Christopher Reeves (Superman) also played a cripple in a movie before he became a cripple in real life. I just blew my own mind.
Rudy Espinoza
1 Likes
Legit quotes
Freddy Got Fingered quotes
Superman quotes
Christopher Reeves quotes
She: What are you thinking about? Me: I'm thinking that I'll never be able to watch all of the porn I've downloaded to my computer.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
Relationships quotes
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Porn quotes
She: What are you thinking about? Me: I'm thinking that I'll never be able to watch all of the porn I've downloaded to my computer.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
Relationships quotes
Love quotes
Why do people want to be gay married? If I get married again, I'm changing the vows from Til Death Do Us Part to Life Without Parole.
Rudy Espinoza
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Gay Marriage quotes
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She: What do you really want from me? Me: I really want you to lower your standards so I can climb on top of you.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
He Said Me Said quotes
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My imaginary girlfriend's giving up sex for Lent. Palm Sunday's taking on a whole new meaning for me.
Rudy Espinoza
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Lent quotes
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Imaginary Girlfriend quotes
I lift my restraining order against sobriety for 40 days each Lent. I miss you alcohol.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
Lent quotes
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40 Days quotes
Happy Valentine's Day. Hope you're spending the evening with someone special. Or at least with some one who doesn't stink.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
Valetine's Day quotes
Someone Special quotes
Stinky quotes
Olympic double amputee Oscar Pistorius was arrested and charged with killing his girlfriend today. It looks pretty cut and dried and he doesn't appear to have a leg to stand on.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
Oscar Pistorius quotes
Olympian quotes
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If Obama had his way no one would win a football game. Each score would be distributed equally and everyone gets a trophy even if they suck.
Rudy Espinoza
81 Likes
Political Leaders quotes
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Why are people surprised that 49er Chris Culliver made anti-gay remarks. Men say much worse things in male-dominated arenas.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
49ers quotes
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Males quotes
She: What's your sign? Me: Liquor Up Front. Poker In The Rear.
Rudy Espinoza
1 Likes
Poker quotes
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If I were a teacher, I wouldn't just test the student mind ... I would test the entire student body.
Rudy Espinoza
0 Likes
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The tragedy of being an underachiever is that I know what I should be, but reality keeps telling me that I'm wrong.
Rudy Espinoza
37 Likes
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