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Mom Stan Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Mom Stan" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Stan: Uh, excuse me, are you Francine's boss? Man: Yes. Stan: (Into wrist communicator) Go! Go! Go! You're all under arrest. Man: For what? Stan: Possession of cocaine donuts. Man: Those are powdered sugar. Stan: Put it in a rap song, jailbird. This office is permanently closed. Man: What are you saying? Stan: I'm saying you're fired. Donald Trump: (Clearing throat) Stan: Oh, for God's sake. Somebody pay Mr. Trump.
American Dad
9 Likes
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Stan: (Picks up telephone) This is Stan Smith. Principal Lewis: Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son. Stan: Oh, God, he's gay. This is it. This is the gay call. I've been ready for this for years. (Starts chugging down pills) Principal Lewis: Uhh, no. It's just that he's gone mad with power. He evacuated the entire school and barricaded himself in my office. Stan: I see. (Foam starts coming out of his mouth) Henry, antidote!
American Dad
6 Likes
Stan: Francine, I want you to stop this nonsense. Francine: "Nonsense"? This job is my career. Stan: No, my job is a career. This is just some silly housewife's hobby. Francine: Oh, yeah? Well, this silly housewife loves her "hobby." She's good at it. In fact, she kicks ass! So, her big career-man husband is just going to have to deal with it. Stan: I could have assassinated you! Francine: What? Stan: Nothing.
American Dad
14 Likes
Stan: Here's your allowance, champ! Steve: Wow... a whole five bucks. Stan: Yeah, I'm gonna need change.
American Dad
3 Likes
Hayley: (To Stan) You know, Steve's dog would still be alive if you right-wing lunatics would agree to gun control. Stan: You know what I have to say to that? (Pause) Ah, I thought I was gonna fart.
American Dad
12 Likes
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Stan: Francine, what the hell is going on? You were fired. (Donald Trump comes in) Stan: That's passive past tense, Trump! You don't own that!
American Dad
1 Likes
Stan: (After seeing Scab Bum) Who the hell is that? Steve: He doesn't have a name. Stan: What? Steve: He killed his own name.
American Dad
1 Likes
Stan: What makes you think you're gonna survive? Roger: My species is immune to all human ailments. Stan: So explain that cold sore. Roger: Mind your own business!
American Dad
5 Likes
Stan: Hilary, look out for the mines! (Explosion) What did I just say? You heard me. What did I just say? Steve: You said, "Look out for the mines." Stan: I said, "Look out for the mines."
American Dad
18 Likes
I was watching TV one day, and it was just like some commercial with a kid my age, and I was like, 'Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!' and she came running in, and I was like, 'I wanna do that! I wanna be on TV!'
Victoria Justice
8 Likes
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Stan: (With gun, searching the house) Osama, is that you? (Hears noise, fires gun) Roger: Geez, Stan, what gives? Holy Toledo, you killed your son's dog! And don't ask me to bring him back with that E.T. finger thing because that's a giant load of crap.
American Dad
2 Likes
MOM turned upside down spells WOW! Mom you were the best!
Rick Sutter
6 Likes
Mothers Day quotes
Mom quotes
Mother quotes
Stan: You unionized the homeless?! Hayley: Yep, this is the Fighting Bums Local 302. (Bums start cheering) Hayley: Here are our demands. Stan: "Longer red lights at freeway off-ramps, free doggy day care, human dignity"? I can't meet these demands.
American Dad
5 Likes
Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.
Unknown
800 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Long quotes
Everyone checks out my mom. My mom's hot.
Ashley Scott
26 Likes
First Time Mom quotes
Sponsored Links
My mom and I were in New York for the summer and I modeled for Ford. One time, I would not stop talking at the photo shoot so someone there said to my mom 'I think you have her in front of the wrong camera. You should go meet these people'. My mom had no idea what she was getting into and I got my first commercial.
Taylor Momsen
10 Likes
I want to be a loving mom. I want to be a mom who listens. I want to be a cool mom. I just want to have a great relationship with my child and have a great family dynamic.
Tori Spelling
2 Likes
My mom thinks WTF means wow that's fantastic...Today I texted her: Mom I got an A on my English test...my Mom said: WTF see you at dinner.
Unknown
750 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Hayley: Oh my God. Dad, why is Hilary Duff in our house? Stan: Hilary is here of her own free will because she wants to have dinner with Steve. Steve: Hilary, could you pass the salt? Stan: (Holding gun to her head) Pass him the salt.
American Dad
50 Likes
I wasn't a teen mom, but still a young mom, who is struggling with many issues even now. You don't go see me dumping my kid off somewhere
Unknown
22 Likes
Young Mom quotes
Young Mother quotes
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