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Short Funny Jokesalicious Mind Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Short Funny Jokesalicious Mind" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Wanna hear a joke about my pe..s? Never mind, it's too long.
Unknown
3462 Likes
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What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business.
Unknown
175 Likes
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I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything for myself that I could pay others to do for me.
Somerset Maugham
36 Likes
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I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
Unknown
129 Likes
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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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Life is too short to waste time on matching socks.
Unknown
136 Likes
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I was going to make a gay joke...butt f*ck it...
Unknown
618 Likes
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A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.
Bobby Darin
1 Likes
I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.
Martin Short
14 Likes
My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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They say that life is too short, I just wonder who took the measurements.
Paballo Nhambiri
215 Likes
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There is no short-cut to art, one has to work hard, be open and flexible in your mind, keep the child alive inside you, and through a whole lifetime be ready to learn new things and of course, be mentally prepared for a hard punch on your nose, esp
Bente Borsum
4 Likes
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Of all the things I have lost. I miss my mind the most!
Unknown
71 Likes
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Life is short, so smile while you still have teeth.
Unknown
342 Likes
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In youth the days are short and the years are long. In old age the years are short and day's long.
Pope Paul VI
54 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday.
Unknown
393 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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Start your own company and mind your own business
Unknown
53 Likes
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