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Erma Bombeck Funny Quotes
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17 entries tagged Funny quotes by Erma Bombeck.
Last updated May 2024
Erma Bombeck Topics
Dieting
Vacation
Children
Excess
Business
Gifts
Wisdom
Mind
Automobiles
Housework
Doctors
Office
Thanksgiving
Food
Sad Christmas
Direction
Theft
Bed
Death And Dying
Order
Show more
Cosmetics
Danger
Funerals
Fame
Animals
Gluttony
Funny
Women
Dreams
Lonely
Bravery
Success
God
Marriage
Family
Age
Humor
Laughter
Politics
Death
Parents
Television
Spontaneity
Books
Knowledge
Advice
Drink
Sex
Courage
QUOTES
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Erma Bombeck
11 Likes
Funny quotes
Thanksgiving quotes
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving. What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
Erma Bombeck
14 Likes
Funny quotes
Thanksgiving quotes
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
11 Likes
Funny quotes
Running quotes
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
27 Likes
Funny quotes
Mom quotes
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Erma Bombeck
15 Likes
Funny quotes
Mom quotes
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A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
Erma Bombeck
21 Likes
Funny quotes
Halloween quotes
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.
Erma Bombeck
125 Likes
Funny quotes
Graduation quotes
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriendand he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
Funny quotes
Boyfriend quotes
Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
Funny quotes
Ski quotes
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
Funny quotes
Theft quotes
Sponsored Links
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck
45 Likes
Funny quotes
Doctors quotes
Office quotes
I am not a glutton, I am an explorer of food
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
Funny quotes
Gluttony quotes
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
49 Likes
Sex quotes
Funny quotes
The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
Erma Bombeck
18 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
69 Likes
Funny quotes
Marriage quotes
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck
38 Likes
Funny quotes
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck
35 Likes
Funny quotes
Dieting quotes
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