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QUOTES
There's more truth in comedy than in tragedy.
Vanna Bonta
28 Likes
Comedy quotes
Truth quotes
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People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want to be funny. I'm a comedian, not a political thinker. We're changing the world one factual error at a time.
Stephen Colbert
4 Likes
Comedy quotes
Well, I'd say that the minute sound came in, it was everybody talking their heads off and going for dialogue laughs. All your writers did the same thing. Once that started, it took years to ever get anybody even to touch that old type of material again
Buster Keaton
2 Likes
Comedy quotes
They say pantomime's a lost art. It's never been a lost art and never will be, because it's too natural to do.
Buster Keaton
8 Likes
Comedy quotes
No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.
Buster Keaton
2 Likes
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Life is too serious to do farce comedy.
Buster Keaton
7 Likes
Comedy quotes
I'm so sorry I fell down.
Buster Keaton
7 Likes
Comedy quotes
Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.
Buster Keaton
7 Likes
Comedy quotes
Going to the bathroom is not a spectator sport.
Doug Wilson
1 Likes
Comedy quotes
Why don't you climb down off the cross, take the wood to build a bridge, and get over it!
Christopher Titus
16 Likes
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I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?
Dylan Moran
27 Likes
Comedy quotes
Driving quotes
When will you Australians learn? In America we stopped using corporal punishment, and things have never been better! The streets are safe. Old people strut confidently through the darkest alleys. And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free, because, as the old saying goes, "let your children run wild and free".
Homer Simpson
31 Likes
Comedy quotes
Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything When is a house a house? Just chill-out will you? If I'm out of the house am I chilling-out? Am I chilling-in if I'm in the house? Ugg, ahhh. [Sword stabbing & dying mime]. What is a sword? Is it made of folded metal?' [Wobbly knees]. 'If I die on the floor can I get up in these heels?
Eddie Izzard
10 Likes
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Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!"
Johnny Carson
9 Likes
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A mind is like a parachute. If it doesn't open, you're fu..ed!
Don Williams Jr
2 Likes
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Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems? ...I gotta get my life some writers.
Bill Watterson
13 Likes
Comedy quotes
Life quotes
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.'
Mitch Hedberg
5 Likes
Comedy quotes
It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance. And thats why most of the Renaissance happened slap bang in the middle of FrItaly.
Eddie Izzard
2 Likes
Comedy quotes
Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get home take a gun shoot yourself. No bullsh.., I'm not joking just do it. I'm just sowing seeds, one day they may take root.
Bill Hicks
7 Likes
Comedy quotes
This sentimental comedy by the Soviet playwright Aleksei Arbuzov is said to have had a great success in its own country. So do fringed lamp shades.
Richard Eder
2 Likes
Comedy quotes
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