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Milton Berle Quotes & Sayings
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26 entries tagged including 13 subtopics.
Last updated Dec 2023
Milton Berle Topics
Funny
Politics
Government
Jokes
Computers
Putdowns
Women
Opportunity
Management
Graduation
Middle School Graduation
Happy Married Life
QUOTES
Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.
Milton Berle
86 Likes
Happy Married Life quotes
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
15 Likes
Graduation quotes
Opportunity quotes
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
69 Likes
Graduation quotes
Opportunity quotes
Middle School Graduation quotes
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
24 Likes
Graduation quotes
Opportunity quotes
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
Milton Berle
7 Likes
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle
6 Likes
Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.
Milton Berle
2 Likes
Laughter is an instant vacation.
Milton Berle
3 Likes
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
0 Likes
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
3 Likes
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I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.
Milton Berle
6 Likes
I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.
Milton Berle
4 Likes
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
Milton Berle
2 Likes
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.
Milton Berle
2 Likes
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
4 Likes
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle
5 Likes
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
2 Likes
Management quotes
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
2 Likes
Opportunity quotes
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
Milton Berle
5 Likes
Women quotes
The best ears of our lives.
Milton Berle
2 Likes
Funny quotes
Putdowns quotes
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Dec 02
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