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Milton Berle Quotes & Sayings

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26 entries tagged including 13 subtopics.
Last updated Dec 2023

Milton Berle Topics

Funny
Politics
Government
Jokes
Computers
Putdowns
Women
Opportunity
Management
Graduation
Middle School Graduation
Happy Married Life

QUOTES

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

86 Likes

Happy Married Life quotes

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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

15 Likes

Graduation quotes

Opportunity quotes

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

69 Likes

Graduation quotes

Opportunity quotes

Middle School Graduation quotes

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

24 Likes

Graduation quotes

Opportunity quotes

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

7 Likes

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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

6 Likes

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

2 Likes

Laughter is an instant vacation.

3 Likes

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

0 Likes

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

3 Likes

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I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

6 Likes

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

4 Likes

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

2 Likes

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

2 Likes

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

4 Likes

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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

5 Likes

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

2 Likes

Management quotes

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

2 Likes

Opportunity quotes

A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.

5 Likes

The best ears of our lives.

2 Likes

Putdowns quotes

1 2

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