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I dont hate you. I just hope your next period happens in a shark tank.
Unknown
569 Likes
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Homework: Because 7 hours of school wasn't enough...
Unknown
305 Likes
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'Why were you late?' Cause the bell rang before I got here...
Unknown
170 Likes
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Sorry, honey. Sarcasm falls from my mouth as easily as stupidity falls from yours...
Unknown
151 Likes
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Mom, I'm going out. 'With friends?' No, with people I hate...
Unknown
184 Likes
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I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm correct.
Unknown
279 Likes
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I wasn't aware that answering my mom's question was considered talking back.
Unknown
234 Likes
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Oh you have swag? I bet that looks great on a resume...
Unknown
224 Likes
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Having a sarcastic conversation with yourself when people are ignoring you.
Unknown
176 Likes
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Zombies are looking for brains. Don't worry. You're safe.
Unknown
362 Likes
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I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.
Jarod Kintz
126 Likes
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I had the best day ever, I ran into my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend.......With my car.
Unknown
439 Likes
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Sarcasm: Because screaming at you about how dumb you are and taking a brick and smacking you across the face with it, is considered rude...
Unknown
117 Likes
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Teacher: 'Why didn't you do your homework?' Student; 'Sorry, but Kanye West didn't let me finish...'
Unknown
194 Likes
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I hate it when the cashier's ask, 'Is that everything?' Uhh, no. I'd also like to purchase all of this invisible sh*t as well...
Unknown
296 Likes
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Oh, you're dating my ex...I thought the five second rule was for food only...
Unknown
570 Likes
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You might as well just move onto a boat because you're always fishing for compliments.
Unknown
44 Likes
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Of course I can keep a secret. Its the people I tell it to who cant.
Unknown
94 Likes
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If you miss 100% of the shots you don't take and 100% of the shots you do take, then you are at least consistent.
Unknown
16 Likes
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Note to self: Work on my responses when people ask dumb questions...
Unknown
35 Likes
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