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Chris Rock Quotes & Sayings

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33 entries tagged including 32 subtopics.
Last updated Dec 2023

Chris Rock Topics

QUOTES

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a f*cking lactose intolerance?!

29 Likes

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A man is basically as faithful as his options.

19 Likes

Being Faithful quotes

You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.

You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.

201 Likes

Funny Marriage quotes

Being Single quotes

Single Life quotes

Loneliness quotes

Being Lonely quotes

Feeling Lonely quotes

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

13 Likes

Being Famous quotes

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. We own this shit. Basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, and as soon as they make a heated hockey rink we'll take that shit too.

35 Likes

African American quotes

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Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. We own this shit. Basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, and as soon as they make a heated hockey rink we'll take that shit too.

149 Likes

African American quotes

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

3 Likes

Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!

4 Likes

Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.

1 Likes

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

9 Likes

Compliments quotes

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School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.

7 Likes

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

2 Likes

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

2 Likes

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

2 Likes

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

6 Likes

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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

14 Likes

George Bush hates midgets.

1 Likes

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

6 Likes

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pi.ps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pi.p is a whole other thing.

11 Likes

Favoritism quotes

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

5 Likes

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