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Dave Barry Quotes & Sayings
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202 entries tagged including 93 subtopics.
Last updated May 2024
Dave Barry Topics
Funny
Cute Dog
Children
God
America And Americans
Nations
Marriage
Golf
Nature
Mountains
Music
Camping
Fishing
Hypocrisy
Accidents
Parliament
Chess
Electricity
Adulthood
African American
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Arguments
People
Babies
Being A Woman
Fear
Fashion
Men And Women
Computers
Age
Communication
History
Religion
Women
Parents
Constitution
Government
Friendship
Love
Television
Humanity
Humor
Technology
Time
Advice
Life
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Death
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Food
QUOTES
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
Dave Barry
9 Likes
Camping quotes
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Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
Dave Barry
2 Likes
Business quotes
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom
Dave Barry
20 Likes
Boredom quotes
Funny quotes
Words quotes
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
Dave Barry
133 Likes
Being A Woman quotes
Women quotes
If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
Dave Barry
3 Likes
Babies quotes
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I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
Dave Barry
68 Likes
Arguments quotes
People quotes
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
Dave Barry
30 Likes
African American quotes
I was a young person once, shortly after the polar ice caps retreated, and I distinctly recall believing that virtually all adults were clueless goobers.
Dave Barry
2 Likes
Adulthood quotes
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
Dave Barry
5 Likes
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
Dave Barry
2 Likes
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What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dave Barry
4 Likes
We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.
Dave Barry
2 Likes
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.
Dave Barry
6 Likes
We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
Sponsored Links
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
Electricity quotes
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Dave Barry
3 Likes
There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.
Dave Barry
2 Likes
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