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Jeff Foxworthy Quotes & Sayings
71 entries tagged including 12 subtopics.
Last updated May 2020
Jeff Foxworthy Topics
You might be a redneck if...your child's first words are 'Attention K-Mart shoppers!'
You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
You might be a redneck if...you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
You might be a redneck if...your family tree doesn't fork.
You might be a redneck if...your home has more miles on it than your car.
For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
On life's list of fun things to do, [visiting my in-laws] comes in somewhere below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
If you break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
A free book that comes to my house full of nothing but women in their underwear? God Bless America!
I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
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