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Jeff Foxworthy Quotes & Sayings

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71 entries tagged including 12 subtopics.
Last updated Oct 2023

Jeff Foxworthy Topics

Funny
Jokes
Work
Friends
Dysfunctional Family
Redneck Girl
Neighbors
Humor
Jealousy
Wedding
School

QUOTES

You might be a redneck if...your child's first words are 'Attention K-Mart shoppers!'

8 Likes

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You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

51 Likes

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

21 Likes

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

42 Likes

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

9 Likes

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You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

9 Likes

You might be a redneck if...you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

8 Likes

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

7 Likes

You might be a redneck if...your family tree doesn't fork.

14 Likes

You might be a redneck if...your home has more miles on it than your car.

5 Likes

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For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

8 Likes

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

2 Likes

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

1 Likes

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

3 Likes

On life's list of fun things to do, [visiting my in-laws] comes in somewhere below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

2 Likes

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You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

6 Likes

If you break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

5 Likes

A free book that comes to my house full of nothing but women in their underwear? God Bless America!

2 Likes

I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.

1 Likes

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

25 Likes

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