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Facebook Status Happy Birthd Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Facebook Status Happy Birthd" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Condoms are just like parents...they are there to protect you, but usually it's more fun when they're not around.
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372 Likes
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Things I do too much? Care, think, and eat.
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I love my toilet. We've been through a lot of shit together.
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I didn't fall, I attacked the floor.
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The awkward spot that the windshield wipers never reach...
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The little dance your thumbs do you aren't sure how to reply to a text.
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Everybody wanna be cuffed and taken but nobody wants to be committed & faithful.
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I think Fruit Loops are just Gay Cheerio's
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647 Likes
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Going to McDonald's to get a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug.
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That horrifying moment when you put a ring on your finger and you cant take it off!
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If cockroaches can survive a nuclear blast, what the hell is in raid?
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Admit it, we all take off our 3D glasses during a movie to see how it looks without them.
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80 Likes
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New condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's going to get your paychecks.
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I can't even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones.
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438 Likes
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I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'
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662 Likes
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The only reason I'd ever move to L.A. is to get away from conversations about the weather changing.
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31 Likes
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I'm naming my TV remote Waldo.
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93 Likes
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Don't let life get in the way of your dreams... go back to sleep!
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Hey people, it's pronounced BOTH, not BOFF. That will be all...
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Waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and avoiding all of the mirrors.
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