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Funniest Dave Chappelle Joke Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funniest Dave Chappelle Joke" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I like that particular kind of attention. People don't know what it's like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.
Dave Chappelle
0 Likes
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All these years, I thought I liked chicken cause it was delicioius; but turns out, I'm genetically predisposed to likin chicken!
Dave Chappelle
12 Likes
Who got the part? Chris Tucker? Shit! Who got the other part? Tell me man. Jackie Chan? That mother fu..er can't even speak English!
Dave Chappelle
18 Likes
I was on vacation at Disney World, and everybody kept coming up to me and saying 'Hey, I'm Rick James, b*tch.' I was like, 'Could you not call me a b*tch in front of my kids?'
Dave Chappelle
13 Likes
Even when I lecture per se, I am a joke comedian, I can do the voices.
Dave Pelzer
1 Likes
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It's Friday bi...es! Lets Get fu..ed Up!
Dave Chappelle
123 Likes
Happy Friday quotes
Funny Friday quotes
Hey baby, baby go home man its three oclock in the morning what the fu.. are you doing up. The baby said I'm sellin weed ni....
Dave Chappelle
15 Likes
Most people don't know what it's like to stand up there and speak their mind. I have a venue to do that. I get paid to do that. It's not like I'm doing heavy lifting up there. It's not like I'm solving the world's problems. It's like I'm hanging out with a bunch of people and it's cool.
Dave Chappelle
4 Likes
I would go to work on the show and I felt awful everyday, that's not the way it was. I felt like some kind of prostitute or something. If I feel so bad, why keep on showing up to this place? I'm going to Africa. The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
Dave Chappelle
11 Likes
I knew it was a bad idea, but I was high. I tried to explain to him that it was a bad idea but all that came out was well ni... sometimes you gotta race, I don't know.
Dave Chappelle
18 Likes
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Hey, ni...s! Turn that jungle music down! Woogie boogie, ni...! Woogie boogie!
Dave Chappelle
28 Likes
Terrorists don't take black hostages. That's the truth. I have yet to see one of us on the news reading a hostage letter. Like, 'Uh...they is treatin us good. Uh we are chillin and shit. I'd like to give a shout out to Ray-Ray an Big Steve and uh, send some Newports!'
Dave Chappelle
27 Likes
They got a character on there named Oscar, they treat this guy like shit the entire show. They judge him right in his face, "Oscar you are so mean! Isn't he kids?", "Yeah Oscar! Your a grouch!", its like "bi...! I LIVE IN A fu..ING TRASHCAN!
Dave Chappelle
50 Likes
Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe I lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!
Dave Chappelle
27 Likes
Good motherfu..ing choice, motherfu..er! Samuel Jackson! Made painstakingly by me, Samuel L. Jackson! It'll get ya drunk! You'll be fu..ing fat girls in no time! You might even fight a ni... or two! Mmmm-mmm, bi...!
Dave Chappelle
30 Likes
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New white people, you can't scare these white people, I tried.
Dave Chappelle
11 Likes
Skeet Skeet Skeet!
Dave Chappelle
15 Likes
Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don't just effuse to one another and be like, 'Oh, Rob Lowe's really funny,' if he wasn't.
Chris Pratt
0 Likes
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
Zach Manal
42 Likes
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People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.
Ricky Gervais
2 Likes
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