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God Jimmy Kimmel Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "God Jimmy Kimmel" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
How is it possible that no one has invented a puppy that stays a puppy?
Jimmy Kimmel
6 Likes
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There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives.
Jimmy Kimmel
4 Likes
What I said about Pistons fans during halftime was a joke, nothing more. If I offended anyone, I'm sorry. Clearly, over the past 10 years, we in L.A. have taken a commanding lead in post-game riots. If the Lakers win, I plan to overturn my own car.
Jimmy Kimmel
0 Likes
Did you have trouble at the airport this week? I had to throw away all my make-up. They said it's because of this terrorist plot they foiled over in England. I believe it's an elaborate ruse perpetrated by the big cosmetics industry. Maybe it's not terrorism. Maybe it's Maybelline.
Jimmy Kimmel
1 Likes
When I was emceeing Win Ben Stein's Money, I actually fell asleep during the show a few times. I would sit on the safe over to the side and just sort of doze off. But that was probably a combination of the narcolepsy and Ben's voice.
Jimmy Kimmel
3 Likes
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Adam doesn't need a partner, the guy is just funny. He has a strong opinion on almost every topic. You can ask him about Sea-Monkeys or shoelaces and he has a strong opinion. And when he gets going, you're just a bystander.
Jimmy Kimmel
3 Likes
The TSA downgraded the threat level for flights between the U.S. and England from severe to high. So if you're nervous about taking a trip to London, there's no longer a severe chance of exploding, just a high one now.
Jimmy Kimmel
0 Likes
The president jumped on a plane to start a five-week vacation. This will be the longest presidential vacation in 36 years. This means President Bush has now been on vacation for 27% of his presidency. That means the country could be 27% more screwed up than it already is.
Jimmy Kimmel
1 Likes
Hurricane Katrina has been particularly hard on President Bush, who was forced to end his vacation two days early. He was supposed to be clearing brush in Texas until Friday. Now he's going to get back to the White House tomorrow. You know, if he doesn't use his vacation days, he loses them, so this is hard on everybody.
Jimmy Kimmel
3 Likes
If you don't have a crazy facebook friend, you are the crazy facebook friend.
Jimmy Kimmel
91 Likes
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Congratulations to Charlie Sheen, who's marrying his longtime girlfriend. I have to say...Charlie Sheen has a longtime girlfriend?
Jimmy Kimmel
7 Likes
Jokes quotes
I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. This is something God recognizes I will do and I have done it and God forgives me for it.
Jimmy Carter
4 Likes
Adultery quotes
Where's the church, who took the steeple, Religion's in the hands of some crazy a.. people, Television preachers with bad hair and dimples, The God's honest truth is, it's not that simple
Jimmy Buffett
14 Likes
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Where's the church, who took the steeple, Religion's in the hands of some crazy a.. people, Television preachers with bad hair and dimples, The God's honest truth is, it's not that simple
Jimmy Buffett
18 Likes
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God is bigger than people think.
Jimmy Dean
2 Likes
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God bless you Jimmy, God bless your heart.
Nick Swardson
11 Likes
It's a humorous statement that doesn't mean anything. You can't lie to God - it's ridiculous.
Jimmy Swaggart
0 Likes
Hi, you've reached Jimmy, if you can dream it, you can do it! -Jimmy
Blades Of Glory
7 Likes
My mom would have liked it that I patterned myself more after Jimmy Reed.
Jimmy Smith
2 Likes
I've seen so many people in this business that made a fortune. They get old and broke and can't make any money. I tell you something... no one's going to play a benefit for Jimmy Dean
Jimmy Dean
18 Likes
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