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Hilarious Comebacks Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Hilarious Comebacks" sorted by relevance. 130 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Let's give thanks our neighborhood is too dangerous for Christmas caroling.
Unknown
8 Likes
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All I want for Christmas this year is the 2008 version of Obama.
Unknown
16 Likes
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On this last tour we set it up like a play: We did act one and act two with an intermission and costume change, and that's hilarious 'cause we just exaggerated everything everyone would ever say about a band like us. And I think that we'll try to do something different on the next tour, step it up.
Pete Wentz
4 Likes
Whether you're offended by me saying Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, take comfort in knowing I don't really mean either.
Unknown
23 Likes
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If you're sad about being single this holiday season, remember that even Kim Kardashian is unmarried 293 days a year.
Unknown
11 Likes
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I want that which is hilarious and that which is heartbreaking to occupy the same territory in the book because I think they very often occupy the same territory in life, much as we try to separate them.
Richard Russo
1 Likes
Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
Joan Rivers
9 Likes
May your holiday season be filled with friends and family who don't bring up your school's horrifying pedophiliac s.. scandal.
Unknown
16 Likes
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May you maintain the same fake enthusiasm for the holidays as North Koreans did for Kim Jong II.
Unknown
30 Likes
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Sorry I can't make it to your holiday party that I'm pretending to attend to get out of going to another holiday party.
Unknown
2 Likes
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I've put a lot of thought into asking Siri what to get you for Christmas.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Here's hoping Santa doesn't get killed using Apple Maps this Christmas.
Unknown
50 Likes
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I know this is going to sound really cheesy, but I have the coolest dad in the entire world. My dad is hilarious. Hes also strong, smart and makes me feel like hes going to take care of everything. I think those are the qualities I look for in a boyfriend.
Lea Michele
9 Likes
Merry Christmas to someone who'd care more about Baby Jesus if he was in Kate Middleton's uterus.
Unknown
14 Likes
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This year I plan to start putting off my Christmas shopping extra early.
Unknown
58 Likes
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Pretending to believe in the Mayan apocalypse prophecy is a great way to get out of buying Christmas presents.
Unknown
32 Likes
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Filled with mingled cream and amber I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions clamber Through the chambers of my brain -- Quaintest thoughts -- queerest fancies Come to life and fade away; Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.
Edgar Allan Poe
8 Likes
I haven't had s.. in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.
Ryan Swain
157 Likes
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Buying me a Christmas gift on Cyber Monday is a great way to ensure I'll have s.. with you until Christmas.
Unknown
32 Likes
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Laughter is wine for the soul-laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness. the hilarious declaration made by man that life is worth living.
Sean OCasey
3 Likes
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