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Mitch Green Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Mitch Green" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
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People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our economy does.
Mitch Albom
3 Likes
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
It's time Congress got its priorities straight.
Mitch McConnell
0 Likes
If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it's going to happen anyhow.
Mitch Albom
10 Likes
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A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
Mitch Hedberg
8 Likes
Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
2-in-1 is a bullshit term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.
Mitch Hedberg
9 Likes
If the administration wants cooperation, it will have to begin to move in our direction.
Mitch McConnell
1 Likes
Bolton's exactly what the U.N. needs at this point. The president's right on the mark in picking him.
Mitch McConnell
1 Likes
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I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg
20 Likes
Women quotes
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?
Mitch Hedberg
4 Likes
Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
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More young people believe they'll see a U.F.O. than that they'll see their own Social Security benefits.
Mitch McConnell
1 Likes
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
Mitch Hedberg
5 Likes
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg
13 Likes
Girlfriends quotes
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
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