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New Funny Status Upload I Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "New Funny Status Upload I" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...
Unknown
1246 Likes
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I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Unknown
85 Likes
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Allowing gay marriages isn't nearly the gayest thing about California.
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40 Likes
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Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
Unknown
4765 Likes
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Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...
Oketa Ojok
8034 Likes
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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
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1748 Likes
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The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.
Unknown
41 Likes
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Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence.
Unknown
57 Likes
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Not to name names, but I know some of you update your status from your phone so it appears like you actually left the house. -Sent from my iPhone
Unknown
3034 Likes
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I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.'
Unknown
572 Likes
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Behind every great woman, there is a guy looking at her ass.
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573 Likes
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Sorry you're upset that three brutal murders by one of your players may impact your team's playoff chances.
Unknown
25 Likes
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These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like the giraffe did.
Unknown
593 Likes
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Say this out loud five times fast! 'I won a math debate.'
Unknown
616 Likes
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I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one.
Unknown
664 Likes
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I don't want to hear you complain about the heat unless you are planning to take off all your clothes.
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80 Likes
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I forgot Rihanna's ex-boyfriend's name...Then it hit me...
Unknown
750 Likes
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Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
Unknown
1083 Likes
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The Energizer Bunny got arrested. He was charged with battery.
Unknown
275 Likes
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May you live to be as old as the number of Instagram pictures you took of your birthday cake.
Unknown
192 Likes
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