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Chelsea Handlers Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Chelsea Handlers" sorted by relevance. 78 matching entries found.
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Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
Chelsea Handler
36 Likes
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Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It's just not done. But they would have no qualms about telling their guy friends. Similarly, if you're a guy and you pull your pants down, and the girl you're with immediately stats text messaging her friends, you have a small pe..s. Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
Chelsea Handler
27 Likes
I'm fascinated by the whole concept of snake handling. When you read about the Pentecostal snake handlers, what strikes you the most is their commitment.
Lucinda Williams
1 Likes
All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair
Mitch Albom
39 Likes
Inspirational quotes
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...some of the best s.. I can barely remember.
Chelsea Handler
25 Likes
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I love Chelsea Handler.
Lauren Conrad
2 Likes
I'll always be doing stand-up as long as people are still interested in seeing me.
Chelsea Handler
3 Likes
My dad was an Arsenal supporter and he used to take me there, but I've always been Chelsea.
Eric Bristow
0 Likes
I'm not a good collaborator in general.
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
1 Likes
I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
Chelsea Handler
31 Likes
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I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman.
David Alan Grier
1 Likes
Isn't that an odd philosophy for a vampire?
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
0 Likes
Along with the 97 percent of women who can see, I have never been a fan of redheaded men.
Chelsea Handler
21 Likes
Of course it is going to be difficult for any player to get in the Chelsea side no matter who they are.
Frank Lampard
1 Likes
Men dont realize that if were sleeping with them on the first date, were probably not interested in seeing them again either.
Chelsea Handler
46 Likes
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Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
Chelsea Handler
24 Likes
Everyone, calm down. I met with mr. Cent about a potential project. Theres nothing to report yet, ill let you know if there is.
Chelsea Handler
2 Likes
My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It's really sad, because that's what my show is all about, what is going on with celebrities. So I have to know everything.
Chelsea Handler
0 Likes
It became clear when I got in my car that Persians are only really good for two things. Oil and hummus.
Chelsea Handler
14 Likes
We proved we could be safe and secure at home, and still have more allies and friends in the world.
Chelsea Clinton
6 Likes
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