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Funny Birth Date Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Birth Date Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I got my passport application forms sent back. Apparently the question Place of Birth? Between my mothers legs isn't acceptable.
Unknown
240 Likes
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Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is calling me a doctor because I own Band-aids.
Unknown
567 Likes
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Birth control pills should probably be made for men. Doesn't it make more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest?
Unknown
335 Likes
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Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...
Oketa Ojok
8034 Likes
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Reason why I'm single 1) I can't date myself 2) I can't date my celebrity crush 3) I can't date food 4) I can't date the internet.
Unknown
47 Likes
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I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn't really a date date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.
Dave Attell
10 Likes
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Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill.
Unknown
205 Likes
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I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn't really a date date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.
Date Attell
96 Likes
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OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?
Unknown
876 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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All pregnant woman give birth to a baby, while my mother gave birth to a legend.
Unknown
223 Likes
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Unknown
1203 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
2231 Likes
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There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
Unknown
1102 Likes
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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I would date a fan. I mean, honestly, I would date anyone that's a nice, good, solid person. That has like a good head on their shoulders and is really sweet and like funny. So if a fan had all those qualities then I would definitely not hold back.
Victoria Justice
3 Likes
Im single because I don't just date to date. I date to love & if you dont believe in forever, I'll show you goodbye real fast.
Unknown
12 Likes
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
222 Likes
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Since today is Valentine's day, I was wondering if you'd like to go back to MySpace, so I can Twitter with your Yahoo, until I Google all over your Facebook and we can Instagram our date... ;) Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone!!
Unknown
495 Likes
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Put no inscription over the grave, except the date of my birth and my death; and, wherever I am buried, let the funeral be perfectly private, with as few persons attending, and as little show and expense as possible.
Isaac Butt
6 Likes
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