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Funny Facebook Updating Status Every 5 Minutes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Updating Status Every 5 Minutes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there in 5 minutes.
Unknown
264 Likes
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OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?
Unknown
876 Likes
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
Unknown
287 Likes
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Facebook is like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything good in it.
Unknown
1405 Likes
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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If Facebook is like dating, then Twitter is like a one night stand - it's fun while you're doing it, you finish in like 5 minutes, and you feel real cheap afterwards.
Unknown
201 Likes
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If your girlfriend claims that she never looks at your Facebook profile; Try changing your status to 'Single' and wait 3-5 minutes...
Unknown
476 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
Unknown
1102 Likes
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a friends Facebook account: 'I LOVE D*CK IN MY MOUTH!'
Unknown
843 Likes
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If Facebook ever shuts down. You'll see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in others faces screaming 'Do you like this!?!?!.. DO YOU!?!?!'
Unknown
1647 Likes
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Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life.
Unknown
722 Likes
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Okay mom...you know I love you...but I can't accept your friend request on Facebook.
Unknown
1034 Likes
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I hate it when I tell someone I'll be there in 15 minutes yet they choose to call me every half an hour anyway.
Unknown
326 Likes
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It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.
Unknown
696 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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Are you free tomorrow? No, Im fu..ing expensive.
Unknown
2521 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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