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Funny George Carlin Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny George Carlin" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
George Carlin
20 Likes
Funny quotes
Sponsored Links
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
George Carlin
44 Likes
God quotes
Funny Catholic quotes
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
George Carlin
24 Likes
Funny quotes
Driving quotes
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
21 Likes
Friendship quotes
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
280 Likes
Christian quotes
Funny quotes
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
25 Likes
Funny Friendship quotes
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
Funny Christmas quotes
Funny Christmas Card quotes
Humorous Christmas quotes
Short Christmas quotes
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Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were having a swan. You get more stuffing.
George Carlin
4 Likes
Funny quotes
Thanksgiving quotes
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing.
George Carlin
2 Likes
Funny quotes
Thanksgiving quotes
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
George Carlin
16 Likes
Funny quotes
Change quotes
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
145 Likes
Funny quotes
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
67 Likes
Humorfunny quotes
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Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with
George Carlin
12 Likes
Funny quotes
Drugs quotes
Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with
George Carlin
2 Likes
Drugs quotes
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The Religious Right dislikes both abortions and homos..uality. But who has fewer abortions than gays?
George Carlin
40 Likes
Funny Gay quotes
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin
28 Likes
Funny quotes
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Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.
George Carlin
25 Likes
Funny quotes
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fu..
George Carlin
61 Likes
Humor quotes
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin
9 Likes
Funny quotes
Drink quotes
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